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Three generations ago, we had a framework in place which minimized these gray areas where, while a reasonable person would infer there was consent to have sex, the partner actually was not consenting to sex.

The framework was this: If the relationship was not a lifetime monogamous commitment, then the sex was not OK.

I have observed, in the majority of these cases (Caleb Warner, etc.), the issue was that two people had sex with each other without first having an established relationship with each other. It’s a simple observation that one can generally avoid a false rape accusation by making sure to only have sex in a monogamous committed relationship.



You do realize that sexual assault and rape can occur even within the framework of marriage, right?

This framework only "minimizes grey areas" in the sense that a patriarchal society assumes sex to be the the duty of the wife to the husband, and that, therefore a womans' right to deny consent is nullified under the contract of marriage. But this isn't actually the case. A relationship is not a guarantee of perpetual sexual consent.


That’s a real strawman there. There is a difference between “a majority” and “all”; I did not at any point say that there is “never marital rape”, nor did I say that there is “never rape in an established relationship”. I certainly did not say that “martial rape is OK”.

However, in all of the campus sexual assault accusations I have seen, not a single one was one where the two people were married to each other.

In the real world, not everything is black and white. There are gray areas. It’s much less likely a sexual assault accusation will happen in a marriage. This does not mean it will never happen; don’t pretend that I said something I never said.


It's not a strawman. Marriage has no effect whatsoever on consent.

>It’s much less likely a sexual assault accusation will happen in a marriage.

Do you have data to back this up?


Two out of three sexual assault allegations involve incidents when the person was not in an established intimate relationship with the person: https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/sexual-assault-victims/

Again, when did I ever say that “marital rape is OK”? I did not, and it’s a strawman to claim that I did.


I didn't think you were claiming marital rape was OK, I thought you were claiming it didn't exist, which is an unfortunately common belief. I misinterpreted your intent and I apologize.


Thank you for the apology. This is a complex topic which a Ycombinator thread can not do justice to, so I present this link: https://nij.ojp.gov/topics/articles/victims-and-perpetrators




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