First of all, the phrase "emotional intelligence" is a pop-psychology invention created by Daniel Goleman which has no clinically meaningful use. There's a big difference between emotional intelligence and emotional regulation.
There's also a difference between traumatic experiences (such as you moving somewhere new at 10 and struggling with isolation and being bullied) and how you may have psychologically adapted to these situations. But nothing you've mentioned implies that your brain can "learn to be put into a depressive mindset" -- it's more the case that strenuous challenges that haven't been addressed, or moved past, or evolved from, will continue to cause problems until work is gradually done to address them.
I have always felt it's similar to musculoskeletal issues. You can do a lot of damage to your lower back by sitting at a desk all day, or to your wrists by typing at an angle that causes repetitive strain. That damage can be "mitigated" in different ways -- medication, surgery, physical rehabilitation. While the last one is most difficult, it's also the most effective because you're training the mind-muscle connection at the point where it's fragility is causing and compounding structural damage.
Even as people get older, until they reach very old age, it's rare for these kinds of MSK problems to occur in ways that cannot be unwound by adherence to physical therapy and a good exercise regimen. I think the same is true for our minds. As you mention in an earlier comment, if you do something that makes you happy, you feel happy for that time before drifting back to depression. But that in and of itself may be the point -- if you are constantly doing things which make you happy, it may not be immediate, but eventually you can re-orient your brain you being default-happy with depressive episodes rather than the other way around. That doesn't make it easy, of course, nor is there a one time fix.
> But nothing you've mentioned implies that your brain can "learn to be put into a depressive mindset" -- it's more the case that strenuous challenges that haven't been addressed, or moved past, or evolved from, will continue to cause problems until work is gradually done to address them.
What is the practical difference between saying "learnt to be put in a depressive mindset" and "psychologically adapted to these situations"? Psychiatrists don't need to be so technical when explaining the differences to people. I'm only framing the conversation in a colloquial manner such that non-psych majors will understand them. In some manner I've "learned" to be in a depressive mindset. And, through repetition, I can "un-learn" it.
> Even as people get older, until they reach very old age, it's rare for these kinds of MSK problems to occur in ways that cannot be unwound by adherence to physical therapy and a good exercise regimen... if you are constantly doing things which make you happy, it may not be immediate, but eventually you can re-orient your brain you being default-happy with depressive episodes rather than the other way around.
I'm not disputing this. The times where I am the happiest is when I'm in my routine of working out and playing tennis. But when I get out of my routine, I fall back into the depressive habits. It's hard to stay consistent. Maybe if I stay consistent for long enough, my default will not be depressed. But I have yet to be consistent for long enough to reach that point.
Emotional intelligence is another way of saying that you have the ability to read the room, which clearly many people (and very many of the technical people I interact with) did not have great ability for (which results in a lot of cringe-worthy moments).
If you want to talk about “ability to read the room”, correct terminology to use (recognised by researchers) is “social cognition”, “theory of mind”, “nonverbal communication” - unlike those terms, “emotional intelligence” is a fringe theory which has failed to win acceptance
There's also a difference between traumatic experiences (such as you moving somewhere new at 10 and struggling with isolation and being bullied) and how you may have psychologically adapted to these situations. But nothing you've mentioned implies that your brain can "learn to be put into a depressive mindset" -- it's more the case that strenuous challenges that haven't been addressed, or moved past, or evolved from, will continue to cause problems until work is gradually done to address them.
I have always felt it's similar to musculoskeletal issues. You can do a lot of damage to your lower back by sitting at a desk all day, or to your wrists by typing at an angle that causes repetitive strain. That damage can be "mitigated" in different ways -- medication, surgery, physical rehabilitation. While the last one is most difficult, it's also the most effective because you're training the mind-muscle connection at the point where it's fragility is causing and compounding structural damage.
Even as people get older, until they reach very old age, it's rare for these kinds of MSK problems to occur in ways that cannot be unwound by adherence to physical therapy and a good exercise regimen. I think the same is true for our minds. As you mention in an earlier comment, if you do something that makes you happy, you feel happy for that time before drifting back to depression. But that in and of itself may be the point -- if you are constantly doing things which make you happy, it may not be immediate, but eventually you can re-orient your brain you being default-happy with depressive episodes rather than the other way around. That doesn't make it easy, of course, nor is there a one time fix.