They trained on publicly-available (no signup with TOS agreement) data, on the theory that training is fair use.
You signed up and agreed to their TOS to use GPT-4.
The legal situations are not similar.
OTOH, lots of people are openly using GPT-4 in one way or another to develop models, though they might generally be at arm’s length from people intending to sell services.
So set up a shell company that uses GPT4 to make public domain examples of what RLHF data would look like, and then the parent company takes that data afterwards since it's public domain. Shell company didn't break TOS.